dk photographic

Me as a bridesmaid...

Ok. Yesterday was the big day. Angela and Jeremy got married at The Darby House. They had a great day and seemed very happy. For me.... the day was very odd. I promised Andy I'd leave my camera at home so I would relax and enjoy the party. I did enjoy the party. I danced like a fool but relaxing didn't come easy. I always felt like I was slacking, like I was supposed to be capturing images.

I did my usual assisting: get the bride a drink, help the bride get dressed, pin corsages, put out the guest book, etc... but when it was "go time" I was standing at the back of the aisle telling myself "don't trip", "don't cry", "breathe" and of course "smile". I think I'll be more sympathetic to bridesmaids from here on out.

There's more than one reason it was hard. Obviously, I'm much more accustomed to being on the other side of it all. I'm used to using my camera as the shield between me and people. Yesterday, I couldn't do that and man, I was self conscious.

The process of the getting my bridesmaid's dress was pretty darn awful. The alterations were frightening. The tailor told me (in his broken english) that I needed one of those undergarments that "squeezes the fat". Needless to say, when I got to my car I cried----a lot. I really didn't want to walk down the aisle and have nearly 200 people looking at me. UGH!!!

I haven't always been overweight. I "used to be" a size 8 and was pretty darn happy there. So.... as I have said so many times in the last decade. I need to do something about it. I feel so capable when it comes to most anything. Losing weight is the one thing I have felt completely helpless about controlling. I know that has to change. I want to be healthy. So... What's your best advice for losing weight, exercising, staying motivated? Help a girl out. I am confident in every other area of my life. I need to conquer this particular demon. I have another friend who I hope may be getting married in the next couple of years and when she does, I want to be ready to wear that bridesmaid dress without needing the "fat sucker".

dk